Ok, so maybe the security guard’s response wasn't that harsh, but I certainly had an entertaining experience with a security guard today at our local court house. As everyone knows, guests must always enter through metal detectors before entering such an establishment. Today I was alarmed to find that I was indeed setting off the alarm. Why I thought?! I'm wearing pearls today and not even thick metal jewelry as I commonly do. After spreading my arms and legs and completing a full 360-scan, the guard found the spot in question - my waist. Are you wearing a belt he asked? Certainly I was not; I can't even fit into belts anymore with this belly I have developed. Then it occurred to me - safety pin! That's right folks, I no longer easily fit into the clothes I did four months ago, heck, a week ago for that matter! This morning called for a last minute fix to the tight slacks - let's face it, after I already ironed the pants I wasn't going to iron a new pair just for some extra baby space! Thus, I improvised. However, now I had to explain, quite humbly, to the male security guard that I no longer fit into my pants and I actually had a safety pin holding the unbuttoned waist together. Thankfully the security guard was a good sport about it and didn’t hold the embarrassing fact against me. In fact, he offered me very noble advice to use a hair band in the future for extra elasticity!
The rest of the trip was just as exciting. For future reference - the marriage license department is in the same room as the divorce records. Every couple should be aware that as they happily apply for their marriage license, they may very likely be watching a woman request a divorce right before their eyes. However, after a nice hand-squeeze with my groom and an oath confirming our identity, we were one step closer to holy matrimony!
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